jokes for when ur bored

that one was funny

any more jokes???

Two guys are out in the woods hiking.

All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them.

The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.

The second guy says, "What are you doing? He says, "I figure when the bear gets too close, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second guy says, "Are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear"!

The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you…

the train is on tracks and a teacher is in a class room???

I'm lost what is that supposed to mean?

ditto. is it supposed to be a riddle?


btw MsquaredRW that was a funny joke! haha i liked it.

we'll it doesn't make sense?=(

why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair???

ummm... IDK. Why?

I think it was to go faster!!!!

OK blonde joke!



A blonde was walking down the street with her shirt and bra off.

A police officer sees and walks up to the blonde,

"Excuse me, ma'am. Did you know I could give you a ticket for indecent exposure?" he asks.

"What do you mean?" The blonde asked, confused.

The police officer looks pointedly at her chest.

She looks down,

"Damn it! I left the baby on the bus again!"

__________________________________________________



What does a blonde say when she looks into a box of cheerios?

DONUT SEEDS!!!

werewolfadict wrote:

why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair???

So that she can rock and roll?

(This joke is funnier when you say it.)

An American, a Filipino and a Japanese were in jail when the devil appeared. The devil promised to get them out of jail if they can finish a certain task. They all agreed and were sent to a forest.

Devil: Find two fruits of the same kind and come back to me.

And so they went.

The American came back with two apples.

Devil: I will shove these up your butt and if you react in any way, you will die.

The Devil shoved the first apple...

American: OW!

So the American died.

The Filipino heard the American and the Devil so he brought back two grapes.

Devil: I will shove these up your butt and if you react in any way, you will die.

The devil shoved the first grape and the Filipino didn't react. When the devil shoved the second grape, the Filipino laughed and then he died.

Why did the Filipino laugh???


BECAUSE HE SAW THE JAPANESE BRING BACK TWO PINEAPPLES.

I love the blonde jokes especially the fruit one I was laughing so hard my head hurt.

I have one similar to that.

A blonde a red head and a brunette are trapped on an island full a canibals.

The canibals say that they will let them live if they can gather three fruits and come back.

The red head gets a mango and the canibals tell her to shove them up her butt without making any sudden movments.

The red head takes the mangos and almost gets teh first one but fails and she gets eaten.

The Brunett brought back some Cherry's and shoves two of tehm up her butt, then she sees the blonde carring three watermelons and falls down laughing.

No one left the Island that day exept for the blonde cause the canibals were laughing too hard to notice her leave.

A blonde was standing at a pop machine at a casino

She's been there for hours and had a pile of soda

There was a line behind her when someone finally had it

"C'mon Lady!" He shouted

The blonde turned,

"Shut up! Can't you see I'm winning!?"

dasha got my joke right!!!!! hoorah!!!!

Blonde Joke

Ok a blonde gets an Ice fishing rod.

She takes it for a spin. She drills a hole in the ice and puts the line in.
Then someone says theres no fish in there so she moves over and drills another hole does the same thing and the voice tells her again there's no fish in there finally she turns and sees a man there and asks.

How do you know theres no fish here?

First this is a Hockey rink
Second your going to have to pay for those holes.

haha thats funny!!!!!!

LOL. I love the fruit one!

Blonde jokes

A blonde parks in front of a trucker. The trucker gets out and tells the blonde to get out of her car. He draws a circle in the road with chalk and tells her to stay in the circle. The trucker goes to his truck and gets his knife and starts cutting up the blondes car seats. He looks over and sees the blonde trying not to laugh. He gets a tank of gas and pours it on the blondes seats. He looks and sees the blonde laughing harder. He lights a match and starts her car on fire. The blonde is now on the ground laughing so hard she can't breathe. The trucker asks Why and the blonde says. Every time you turned around I stepped out of the circle.

haha. I get it.

Derek sits behind Jenny in Sunday school
Jenny stays up late on Saturday and always falls asleep in Sunday school.
One Sunday, the teacher asks Jenny a question,
"Jenny, who is our savior?"
Seeing that Jenny is asleep, Derek pokes her in the back with his pencil,
Jenny is startled and jumps up and yells,
"JESUS CHRIST!"
"Very good, Jenny!" The teacher says
The next week Jenny is asleep again when the teacher asks her,
"Jenny, who was Jesus's grandma?"
Derek pokes Jenny with his pencil again,
"MOTHER OF MARY!" Jenny shouts, startled.
"Correct!" The teacher says.
The next week Jenny is awake.
"Jenny, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their last child?"
The teacher asks.
Derek pokes her,
"YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I SWEAR I WILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!!!" Jenny yells


HAHA
This is hilarious to me cuz i have a friend named Jenny who sits in front of the guy i like (derek) in school and she yells Jesus Christ all the time LOL

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

George Washington!

George Washington who?

George Washington who?!! Didn't you learn anything in history class?!!