jokes for when ur bored

Your name

Nacho Cheese

lol

IDK if they have been posted already:

Joke one:
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.


Joke Two:

A family was getting prepared for their thanksgiving dinner. Dad was cutting the turkey before the guests arrived and he accidentally cut himself "F**K!" he screamed. His son Johnny asked him what that meant. His dad replied "Well..it means..to cut the turkey!"

Johnny went upstairs and his mom was putting on mascara. She accidentally poked her eye with it and screamed "SHIT!" Johnny asked "What does shit mean?" She explaind "Shit means ehm uh MAKEUP!"

So then he went to check up on his grandpa and he was yelling "What a bitch! what a bastard!" at the TV. Johnny asked "Whats that mean?" He said "Uhmmm it means..ladies and gentelmen!"

So when the guests arrived Johnny answered the door and said "Welcome bitches and bastards! Dad is f**king the turkey and mom is putting shit on her face! Come on in!"

haha ur right it is nacho cheese!

y did the cookie go
2 the doctor?

Haha I loved the Sunday school one it was hilarious!! ROTFLOLCOC!!!

cuz it was feeling crumby!!!

Lol i loved the sunday school one and the turkey one those were ha-larious

yeah

The cookie one was kind of lame no offense

I know thats why i posted it

ahh okay what ever floats ur boat XP

Heres a riddle for you people! If you've it heard before, please don't answer. I wanna watch these people get confused.

There are three prisoners. The jail warden offers them a deal. He tells them he will ask them each a question. If the first person who answers the question gets it right, all three of the prisoners will be set free. If the first person to answer it is incorrect, they all get the electric chair.
The warden bring them to a room. In this room there are five hats, two black, three white. He then blindfolds each of prisoners and places a hat on each of their heads. He takes the other two hats out of the room and stands the prisoners in a line so that the first man can see the second and third men. The second man can only see the third man. And the third man is facing the wall.
The warden takes off the blindfolds.
"What color hat are you wearing?" he asked the first man.
"I am not going to answer the question." he replies.
"What color hat are you wearing?" the warden asks the second man.
"I am not going to answer the question." he also replies.
"What color hat are you wearing?" the warden asks the third man.
The third prisoner answers and gets it correct.
What color hat was he wearing and how did he know that? (He did not guess.)

Umm was it a Metal Hat? that zaps you?

there is no electric hats lol

How do you know that for sure?

I am the almighty hat person whose magically knows if a hat is electric. Muahahaha.

Okay....Hats r cool.

Actually I really don't like wearing hats. I just needed some form of an explanation to your question.

oh wow
um
I wish my last name was tissue
so i can have a little girl and name her Anita
and it would be
Anita Tissue
do you get it?

Haha that was cheesy

Red neck dictionary "Bobcat"

Bob, Cat your dogs dead I'm sorry>

the first time i heard it i couldn't stop laughing
i dont get it dace

greenpixie1797 wrote:

i know the answer to that question! the third guy is wearing a white hat. he didn't guess, he knew it for sure because he could see the first and second guys, and they were both wearing black hats, which there were only two of, so he had to be wearing a white hat, the only color left. i haven't heard this before but that sounds right to me. is it?

Um.. actually the third guy is facing the wall. Its the first guy that can see everyone.

Haha. I love the sunday school joke

so this is better when its being told than when its beind read but here goes.
what do you call cheese that isn't yours?
naaaacheese