jokes for when ur bored

Two funny blondes traveled 2 hours from town and walked deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree. They were all warmly dressed from head to toe carrying their saw, hatchet and a rope to drag the Christmas tree back to the car. They had thought of every little detail planning this trip.

The two blondes were so determined to find the perfect Christmas tree. So determined, that they searched for hours slugging through knee-deep snow, blistering wind and weren’t even distracted!

Finally, five hours had passed and the sun was beginning to set, so one blonde turned to the other blonde and said, "I GIVE UP! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! There are hundreds of beautiful Christmas trees all around us. Let’s just cut one down whether it's decorated or not!!"

Ok three constuction workers are eating there lunches and the first one says if my wife makes this again I'm going to kill myself. The second, and third say the same thing. The next day all the men get the same lunch and they go off and kill themselves. At there funerals the first and second guys wives are crying the third mans wife is laughing and they ask her why shes laughing. The wife says "He made his own lunch."

MsquaredRW wrote:

Two funny blondes traveled 2 hours from town and walked deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree. They were all warmly dressed from head to toe carrying their saw, hatchet and a rope to drag the Christmas tree back to the car. They had thought of every little detail planning this trip.

The two blondes were so determined to find the perfect Christmas tree. So determined, that they searched for hours slugging through knee-deep snow, blistering wind and weren’t even distracted!

Finally, five hours had passed and the sun was beginning to set, so one blonde turned to the other blonde and said, "I GIVE UP! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! There are hundreds of beautiful Christmas trees all around us. Let’s just cut one down whether it's decorated or not!!"

omg i love that!!!!

Vampire Adik wrote:

Ok three constuction workers are eating there lunches and the first one says if my wife makes this again I'm going to kill myself. The second, and third say the same thing. The next day all the men get the same lunch and they go off and kill themselves. At there funerals the first and second guys wives are crying the third mans wife is laughing and they ask her why shes laughing. The wife says "He made his own lunch."

i love this one too lol

i hope this one hasn't been put on...
sorry if its immodest for others, but i thought it was hilarious

a horny man was making a computer password for his wife. he typed in "penis". his wife fell over laughing when the computer read, "not long enough."

i loved this one lmao

don't know if this was already used....but.

three women convicts have escaped from jail. two brunettes, and a blonde. they are walking past an old barn when they hear the cops coming after them. they decide to hide in the barn, and run inside and see three large barrels. the one brunette suggests they each hide in a barrel.

as the cops enter the barn they turn on their flashlights and start to look around. the one cop notices one of the barels move slightly and shines his flashlight on it. the brunette inside starts to meow.
"Meooow...meeeeow..."
"its just a cat" the cop says. his friend shines his light on the other barrel, and the brunette inside that one starts to bark.
"Wooof.....woof..."
"its just a stupid dog" the other cop says. they each shine their lights on the third barel where the blonde is hiding. not knowing what to do, she quickly thinks of a plan.....
"Potatoe....potatoe...potatoe...."

What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer!

im not good with this but im gonna add a joke i like.... beware its corny

if frosty the snowman married a vampire wat would they name their child?

for luvia's riddle the blonde is pretending to be a barrel of potatoes :)

Blonde joke! (no idea if its been used.)

So a blond is in a field when it starts to thunder storm. She sees a tree and runs over to it. She remembers what her friends told her about stading under trees in a thunder so...

Two days later her friends visit her at the hospital. one of them says "We told you not to stand under trees! You didn't did you?"
the blonde says "No! I climbed it instead!"

loveTwilight! wrote:

Blonde joke! (no idea if its been used.)

So a blond is in a field when it starts to thunder storm. She sees a tree and runs over to it. She remembers what her friends told her about stading under trees in a thunder so...

Two days later her friends visit her at the hospital. one of them says "We told you not to stand under trees! You didn't did you?"
the blonde says "No! I climbed it instead!"

that was hilarious lmao

Another Blond Girl Joke:

A blond woman goes to her doctor with two burnt ears. When he asks what happens, she says, "Well, I was ironing a shirt, and then the phone rang, and I put the iron up to my ear."
"And what happened to your other ear?"
"The son of a bitch called back!"

blonde joke
so three girls walked up to a librarian one had red hair and one had brown hair and one had green hair
the librarian asked the brown haired girl how she got her hair like that.
"its natural," she responded.
the librarian asked the red haired girl how she got her hair like that
"its natural,"she responded.
the librarian asked the green haired girl how she got her hair like that.
"i dont know," she wiped her nose with her hand then with the same hand ran it threw her hair

larissa cullen wrote:

blonde joke
so three girls walked up to a librarian one had red hair and one had brown hair and one had green hair
the librarian asked the brown haired girl how she got her hair like that.
"its natural," she responded.
the librarian asked the red haired girl how she got her hair like that
"its natural,"she responded.
the librarian asked the green haired girl how she got her hair like that.
"i dont know," she wiped her nose with her hand then with the same hand ran it threw her hair

Heard that one already!?!?

oo did someone put it up sorry lol

No I had just heard it already but it was funny!

Knock Knock

Whose there?

Holy Cow

Holy Cow who?

There is no such thing as a Holy Cow you need to get your facts strait.

wtc dacey??? i dont get it...

Well then u suck!!!

Umm... ok...

ok so what vegetable rocks?

IDK. Which one?

uhh... eggplant????

Elvis Parsley!!!! ha ha i crack myself up!!!

good one

What is completly yours, but your the only one who doesn't use it. What is it?

idk what?


what is cheese that doesnt belong 2 u?