jokes for when ur bored

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are talking about you, what would you like them to say?

The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!

ok this on is a lil racist but I'm Mexican so I'm making fun of my own so not that bad.

3 people are in a green car
an Brazilian, a Mexican, and a white man.
who's the one driving.
the white man the other 2 are wetbacks and
he's border patrol. (its better in Spanish but at least i tried)

There was a blonde that lived in a small house on the corner of 4th Avenue.

She had a small shed in her backyard where she kept gardening tools. One day, she thought she saw smoke coming out of the roof of the shed.

In a panic she called 911. They answered and said "This is Joe, is there an emergency?"

The blonde replied "Yes my shed is on fire!!!" Joe said, "Don't panic help in on the way...where do you live?"

The blonde said, "IN A HOUSE, NOW HURRY!!"

Joe calmly responded back, "How are we supposed to get there?"

The blonde answered back, "DUH!!! A BIG RED TRUCK!"

Once, there was a boy who loved to read. He read everything he could get his hands on,
and loved going to his favorite book store. One day, the boy realized he had read
everything the store had to offer. He confronted the owner, and asked him if he had
anything the boy had never checked out. The owner said why, yes, i do, and pulled out a
book called "Death". He gladly sold it to the boy at a discounted price of 50$. However,
he warned the boy, never to read the front page. Well, the boy returned to his house and
read the book, and he was content. However, he always wondered, what could be on that
front page, it was always in the back of his mind. One day, the temptation was too much
for the boy, and he flipped to the very front of the book, and dropped the book in HORROR.
There, in bold print, was MSRP 7.99$

A blonde walked into a store to buy curtains.

She went up to the salesman and said, "I want those pink curtains to fit my computer screen.

The salesman mentioned, "Computers don't need curtains."

The blonde said, "Hellooo…. I have windows!"

haha funny!!!!

anymore jokes?

I have one, but its not very good- a dumb blonde joke, no offense to blondes

So a blonde is driving on a small street next to a park when she sees another blonde sitting in a rowboat in the middle of the field, rowing as hard as she can.

The first blonde parks her car next to the park and gets out. "Hey!" she shouts to the blonde in the boat. "I hate people like you! You give us blondes a bad name! If I could swim, I would go out there and kick your ass!"

Ok Blonde Joke

A Blonde and a brunnette and a red head go on a trip to the desert and they each bring one thing to survive.

The Brunette brings a water bottle, and the blonde asks Why?
So we don't die of thirst.

The red head brings a box of food, and the blonde asks Why?
So we don't die of hunger.

The blonde brings a car door, and the brunette and the red head ask Why?
So we can roll down the window when it gets hot!

haha. I get it.

that was funny dacey i liked it...

ok blonde joke:

smart blondes are like U.F.O.s. you always hear about them...but you never see them.

haha

Hickory dickory dock, two mice ran up a clock.

The clock struck one, the other got away with minor injuries.

Haha! I like that!

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

HAHAH Whitney, I've heard that one. I luv it.

Very funny!

You're so stupid that when police tell you that you broke the speed limit, you offer to fix it.

lol. This isn't really a joke, just an observation. Alice is Bella's BFF, literally!

okay...not a joke either..but that monkey Sonia has on her siggie is AMUSING! i'm just watchign it go back and forth...and back and forth...this is fun....... (MONKEY!)

Ok, there's a blonde driving down the road one night, and she ends up slamming into the side of a guy's truck. He gets out and starts screaming at the blonde because her car is barely scratched and his is completely totaled. So he takes out a peice of chalk and draws a circle on the road. He tells the blonde to stand in the circle and don't move. He walks over to his car and grabs a bat. Then he goes over to the blonde's car and smashes the windsheild. He turns around and the blonde is laughing. He gets mad and smashes the head lights. He turns back around and the blonde is laughing even harder. He gets angrier and bashes the car to peices. He turns around and the blonde is laughing histerically. He gets really really mad and asks the blonde, "What the heck is so funny?? I just smashed your car and your laughing??"
The blonde laughs and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times."


I thought that was just hilarious!!!!!!!!!

(this is racist but i'm mexican so its ok)
what do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
juan on juan

umm...lets see...a joke...a joke...I NEED A JOKE!!!

Give me some time and I'll give you ur dang joke!

edwards_brunette_bella wrote:

Ok, there's a blonde driving down the road one night, and she ends up slamming into the side of a guy's truck. He gets out and starts screaming at the blonde because her car is barely scratched and his is completely totaled. So he takes out a peice of chalk and draws a circle on the road. He tells the blonde to stand in the circle and don't move. He walks over to his car and grabs a bat. Then he goes over to the blonde's car and smashes the windsheild. He turns around and the blonde is laughing. He gets mad and smashes the head lights. He turns back around and the blonde is laughing even harder. He gets angrier and bashes the car to peices. He turns around and the blonde is laughing histerically. He gets really really mad and asks the blonde, "What the heck is so funny?? I just smashed your car and your laughing??"
The blonde laughs and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times."


I thought that was just hilarious!!!!!!!!!

Already been used! Sorry =(