jokes for when ur bored

I like that one.

Ok another blonde joke.
There's a blonde, brunette, and a redhead.
They get into trouble with the cops so the are running and find an abandoned ally with three empty potatoe sacks.
The each hide in one and the cops come by and kick the brunettes bag and she goes "Meow"
The cops go to the next bag and kick it and the red head goes "woof woof"
They get to the blondes and kick it and she goes "potatoe potatoe"

oh, wow! I have one like that!

So there is this farmer, and he has, like, a super hot son. So there are three girls who want to court him- a red head, a blonde, and a brunette.

The farmer is super-protective, and he won't let anyone into his house after 8:00 pm, so the girls have to sneak into the house.

So the red head goes to the house, sneaks in, and begins climbing up the stairs. unfortunately, she steps on a creaky floor board, and the farmer wakes up. "Who's there?" he calls. "Meow!" says the red head, and the farmer goes back to sleep.

The next night, the brunette goes to the house, sneaks in, and begins climbing up the stairs. Unfortunately, she steps on a creaky floor board, and the farmer wakes up. "Who's there?" he calls. "Meow!" says the bruntte, and the farmer goes back to sleep.

The next night, the blonde goes to the house, sneaks in, and begins climbing up the stairs. Unfortunately, she steps on a creaky floor board, and the farmer wakes up. "Who's there?" he calls.

"The cat! The cat!" calls the blonde

You can hear it, feel it, but can't see it.

What is it?

mmm... IDK! What is it?

The Wind!

You have three 24 hour jobs, but you don't work Sunday. How do you get to all your jobs?

i hate weedings because old people always poke you and say, "your next." so i started doing the same shit to them at funerals.
hope you like it

wow thats odd...

my friend Mariah told me hat funeral one

Whoever said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me obviously never got hit with a dictionary

Ok new riddle

What is completely yours you don't use it, but everyone else does? What is it??

blonde joke i got sent by a friend....

Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?

A blonde tried to shoot herself!

Its your name

Vampire Adik wrote:

You have three 24 hour jobs, but you don't work Sunday. How do you get to all your jobs?

does this person work as a mail-person (being gender nonbiased...a mail-(wo)man)?

awesome joke

A man was walking past his daughters room on his way to bed and heard her praying
"god bless mummy. god bless daddy. god bless grandma. bye-bye grandpa."
Thinking this was extremely odd, he let it pass and went to bed.
The next morning, he woke up to see is wifes father dead at the doorstep.
After the funeral, the man walked past his daughters room and heard her praying again
"god bless mummy. god bless daddy. bye-bye grandma."
Again he let that pass. Only when he woke up the next morning to find his wife's mother dead on the doorstep did he start to get suspicious.
After the funeral, he walked past his daughters room and heard her praying
"god bless mummy. bye-bye daddy."
Fearing for his life, he didn't sleep that night. he left for work incredibly early the next day, not taking his car and staying far from the roads. when he got to work he bolted the door shut and hid under the desk.
He left work early and stayed far from the roads on his way home. When he walked in to his house, he said to his wife "I have had the WORST day today!"
"So have I," she said "I woke up this morning to find you gone and the mailman dead on the doorstep!"

haha, i was sent that joke in an email bout a month ago....
lol

that is hilarious XD adn horrible!

haha okay so this is a "smart" blonde joke



A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn".

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

lmao... that funny as!

im blonde and its the kind of thing i would do too!

hehe

ha that was hilarioso!!!
muy hilarioso!

another blonde joke

a blonde walks into an electrical appliance shop and goes to the counter. she says to the assistant "i wont to buy that TV.", while pointing at it

"I'm sorry," he said "but we don't sell products to blondes."

the blonde walks out and comes back the next day wearing a red wig.

"I'd like to buy that TV." she said while pointing at it.

"I'm sorry," said the assistant "but we don't sell products to blondes."

Thinking that the wig wasn't convincing enough, she dyed her hair brunette and went back to the shop

"I'd like to buy that TV." she said while pointing at it

"I'm sorry," said the assistant "but we don't sell products to blondes."

"How do you know I'm a blonde?" she asked

"Well," said the assistant "that's a microwave."

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing-eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.

The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!"

The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

OMG< these are ALLLLL hilarious!!! XD

i lov the praying one and the "smart" blonde joke, and the blind man joke. these are hilarious lol

LMAO

ok i have a joke:

a man is mowing his lawn one day, and he sees a blonde come out of her house across the street. she walks over to her mailbox, looks inside it, slams it shut, and walks inside.
he thought it was a bit odd, but he let is pass...
five minutes later, she comes out, looks in her mailbox, slams it shut, and stomps inside.
now he's wondering what she's doing, but he lets it pass.
five minutes later, she comes out and does the same thing only a whole lot harder, and goes inside.
now he's confused, and he wants to know what she's doing.
she comes out again, five minutes later, and he goes over and asks her what the heck she's doing.
"My computer says i have mail," she said.