Angela

Carlisle: wat r u doing down here?
Esme: well....... i wanted to...um.......ask Edward a ?
Carlisle: wat is it?............i can go ask him!!!!!!!!
Esme: no its ok......um...........i'll ask him later!! is Bella in there?
Carlisle: YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Edward comes out*
Edward: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU, oh hello Esme :)
Esme: hello, Edward:oops:
Edward: ?
*bella comes out half naked*
Esme: OHHHHHH DEAR i wish edward would do that to me!
Edward: ESME?????????? y would u think that?????

lol those poor Forkians


Mike: HONEY I"M HO-OME
Rosalie: ONE SECOND DEAR!
Emmett: wtf?
Esme: Edward, i've always thought of you as a son... until now...
Edward: oh dear god...
Bella: Edward, come on
Carlisle: can i join?
Edward: FOR THE FREAKIN' LAST TIME, NO! *slams door*
Esme: he was a little harsh, doncha think?
Carlisle: we're horrible parents, aren't we?

jacob: HEY SEXXXI COME DOWN HERE AND GIMME A KISS
jasper: ooooh yay ur here ur here! ::runs down 2 wer jacob is::
bella: WTF?!
edward:
alice:
carlisle: hey edward y don't u go seperate those 2 love birds so i can get my hands on bella
edward: not a chance..ugh...ur sick
carlisle: verrry sicckk
bella: eew
esme: come on edward ditch the idiot human girl and come to my room ... ...did i just say that out loud??

Bella:um remember angela turne me into a vampire with her witck powers!!
Esme:oh....ok well edward still come with me
Carlisle:and Bella you come with me
Edward and Bella: no you guys are freaks
Bella:and i still want to sleep with edward!!!!!!!!!!

Esme: *snorts* we're freaks? your the witch girl
Bella: honey? isn't the pot calling the kettle black?
Esme: you want a piece of me?
Bella: oh no honey, i want to whole thing! *starts hitting Esme*
Esme: OW OW OW! MY HAIR! OW OW OW!
Bella: CRAP! MY LEG!
Carlisle: GIRLS! stop it! now, who should i fix up first
Bella: er... i'm fine... i think i'll rest up in Edward's room...

Carlisle: no..... u first i'll teach you a think or two
Edward: EWWWW.......lets go love
Bella: Edward?
Edward::affraid: :affraid: :affraid: :affraid: :affraid: CARLISLE.....GET OFF HER!!!!!!!!!!!
Esme: i can do better than that *grabs Edward*
Bella:

bella: *slaps carlisle*
edward: *slaps esme*
esme: *slaps bella*
carlisle: *slaps esme*
::alice, jasper, emmett, rosalie, and jacob walk in::
jasper: *slaps alice*
alice: *slaps jacob and jasper*
jacob: *slaps edward*
edward: *slaps every1 but bella*
rosalie: *slaps bella*
bella: *slaps rosalie*
emmett: *shrugs and slaps self*

Bella: ya know... this is pretty much pointless
Rosalie: yeah... but hell, it's fun!
Emmett: OWIE! Rosy i hurt myself
Rosalie: come, i'll get a band aid for it
Emmet: kay, kay
Esme: Edward come on! you know you want to!
Edward: no, no no no! i don't want to! tha's just... ew! it's incest! and i'm sorry mom, but i love Bella with all my bring
Esme: what, it's just sleeping together
Carlisle: *whispers into Esme's ear*
Esme: HE HASN"T?!? EDWARD WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN FOR 88 YEARS?
Edward: Carlisle, what did you tell her?
Carlisle: that you haven't sleep with anyone
Esme: i remember my good old hooker days...
Bella: *backs away into Edward's room and hides in the closet*

edward: it's ok bella, u can come on out. bella? come on it's alrite. she was only kidding.
esme: ::laughs:: no i wasn't
edward: shut UP!

Edward: GOD! you people have no respect! *slams door and locks it*
Bella: oh thank god! *starts making out with Edward*
Carlisle: what do you think they're doing?
Esme: your so stupid sometimes! Why? Why didn't i marry Johnny Depp when i had the chance!?

carlisle: oooooo johnny depp????
esme: ::backs away with a horrified expression::
carlisle:

Carlise: i bet im betta in bed than him
Esme: i wouldnt know u took me away from him
*esme slaps carlise*

Esme: i wonder if i still have his number... *Searches through purse*
Carlisle: oh, come on Esme. Baby, i didn't mean it.
Esme: After trying to get Bella when you could have me? sure, of course you don't mean it
Carlisle: you were the one going after Edward
Esme: I felt left out! you seriously think i'd do that to my son? Ew! Incest!
Edward: OH THANK GOD!!

carlisle: i still want bella
esme: i still want edward
bella and edward: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Carlisle: come on bella now u r immortal this could work out

Bella: ok ::looks at edward ::
Carlisle: OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Esme: so.............Edward..............
Edward:NO!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bella: its ok..............i guess
Edward: OK!
Emmett: carlisle.... can i have a turn after you
Jasper: ME TOOOOOOOOO..... after Emmmett!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bella: APRIL FOOLS!
Carlisle: Bella... it's not April...
Bella: I know that...
Edward: Bella, how about i take u back to Charlie's
Bella: yeah... come on
*they leave*
>>At Bella's house<<

Bella: Edward, no offence, but you've got a damn strange family

Edward: MY FAMILY IS WEIRD?... ur dad thinks he's a woman... and is married to a DOG'S FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!.... yea my family is weird
Bella: i didn't say that mine wasn't... .gezz..... PMS!!!!!!!!!!!
Edward: JASPER PROMISED he WOULDN'T TELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bella: *raises an eyebrow*

Edward: *growls* Jasper, out from behind the bushes.

Jasper: *Snickers* looks like little Eddie's hormonal

Edward: Jasper if you don't leave in three seconds i will kill you

Jasper: see ya Bella *runs far away*

Bella: what was that all about?

Edward: Jasper was using his power on me

Bella: oh... still think your family is odd

Edward: i do too Bella, i do too

Bella: good....im glad u agree... now can we get on to more pressing issues?
Edward: like wat?
Bella: ::raises her eyebrow::
ur kidding right
Edward: ??

Bella: the baby...

Edward: WHAT!

Bella: kidding!

Edward: geeze. you had me for a moment. never do that again

Bella: *snickers* ok eddypoo

Edward: and NEVER EVER call me that again
Bella:
Edward: aw... bella
Bella: go away... u stupid..... u stupid..... VAMPIRE
Edward: how dare u call me such a ......sick.....name??????????????????????????????????

Bella: Edward, i'm joking

Edward: I know. I am too.

Bella: ... haha

Edward: sooo... are we going to go in?

Bella: no, i figure we wait out here a few more minutes so i can freeze my ass off.

Edward: Really? * looks at her strangely*

Bella: NO! Come on!

Bella: u really need to take sarcasm class
Edward: THERE'S A CLASS.............and nobody TOLD ME??????
Jasper: thanx so much bella..... we wanted him to learn on his own.... now he'll never learn
Bella: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.........................

Bella: JASPER GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! THAT KEY IS FOR EMERGIENSIES ONLY!

Jasper: but it *was* an emergensy... i ran out of milk

Bella: you don't eat!

Jasper: oh yeah... *starts yelling* HEY EMMETT! YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT THOSE CORNDOGS BACK!