Holy CUSSING IS BAD!.
that was the funniest thing i've read in a lonnnng time. I think I just peed a little xD Everyone's gotta read this hahahhaha
CHARLIE: GRRR I LOVE THAT FAMILY. You should see the doctor, I hear he’s a dreamboat.
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EDWARD: I smile crooked.
BELLA: YOU’RE PRETTY, I WANT YOUR BABIES.
SCIENCE: Apparently I’m sexy, I was not aware.
PORNO MUSIC: *plays as BELLA and EDWARD look in each
other’s microscopes... if you know what I mean*
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EDWARD: *sparkles*
A PAUSE: *is needed*
EDWARD: ... *sparkles*
BELLA: *extra dazzled*
EDWARD: *FREAKING SPARKLES WHAT THE FUCK*
BELLA: Oh Edward you are just too beautiful to be real, your skin is so smooth and perfect and cool and your eyes are like butterscotch and beautiful and perfect.
EDWARD: Don’t I scare you?
READERS: YOU’RE F***ing SPARKLING, WHAT THE heck IS SCARY ABOUT THAT.
BELLA: Do you mind if I touch your hand? Is that okay?
EDWARD: Touch aaall you want.
PORN MUSIC: Bow chika bow wow.
BELLA: Your breath smells tasty.
EDWARD: NO NO NO I’M A PREDATOR AND I AM SUCKING YOU IN. But don’t be scared I swear not to hurt you ever.
THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FANGIRLS: THAT IS SO ROMANTIC
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xD