Original Fiction

I was just wondering if anybody here wrote original fiction, not fanfiction? I have written some, but they are sealed in my chest of doom, with everything else I write, and will not be extracted until the apocalypse, or the search for my will, whichever comes first. I'll post up the next story I think up, or whatever, which could be anywhere from tomorrow to next month. But for anybody else, post any origninal fiction you may have.

that's a great idea.
i can't wait to read some!

My mom's writing a story. Or has the idea for a story.

It's about witches.

And I plan to write an original story.

I have a story that is a discussion between Good, Evil, Light, Dark, Chaos, and Order. It's something of a story, and when I finish it, I'll type it up and stick it in here, it may be a week or so, though.

I have lots of original stuff, but I just registered with fictionpress and I have to wait three days to post anything...but when three days have passed I'll post a link up here

Umm well Ive been writing some stuff but the ones on my computer are completely random scenes.. is tht ok??

It's fine to post up random scenes, just try and give us a summary of what's going on outside the scene. Otherwise we will be left sitting there quite confused.

Oh, and, uh... *Points to the last post made here*

Five month bump. =Þ

Umm hey so its me again :]

And I finally managed to get my hands on the internet again so im gonna post my story...

Welp basically in this story Holly Everwood moves with her single mother into a new town
and alot of things happen. First of all she meets a boy with auborn hair and melting emerald green eyes and looks that belong to a super model -- but the shocking thing is -- he likes her! Plain, old Holly!
It turns out that hes a vampire and long time ago they had a "thing" going on
Holly died but a centuary later was reincarnated and so now Cedric and Holly meet again. Ofcourse Holly thinks hes insane. What is he TALKIN about?? IN the process she looses her memoies and later on they get revived. Anyhow she still doesnt like Cedric but he hangs around her anyway. Let me know if you guyz have any questions, thx fer reading this and srry for all the mistakes. Its still in its editing stage...

Holly walking home from her job at her bff Hazel's cafe (p.s shes still in high school)



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Today’s been a long day. I just can’t wait to get home and jump onto my bed, of course Cedric will probably be there but really its all just more comfortable with him around.
“What’s a cute girl like you doing gazing into space?” It was a blond guy, talking to me.
“Oh,” I blinked, “Sorry, I was just…”
“Wanna lift with us?” he asked, pointing a thumb behind him where I noticed another guy was standing.
“No thanks,” I said beginning to feel frightened. Something’s wrong. The atmosphere is all tense. I defiantly don’t need any trouble.
“Oh come on!” and he grabbed my hand, pulling me in.
“No!” I struggled, trying to wrench myself from his grasp, but it was no use. He was holding on tight. The other guy, with the dark brown hair was beside me in a flash.
“No worries. You’re all safe with us,” he said grabbing me and pulling me down the street. The blond guy had let go by then, “Don’t be such a hog!” he yelled as the brown-haired boy pushed me even farther.
“Then hurry up!”
“Let GO!” I cried, the street was empty though and so nobody noticed me being dragged away. What should I do, there isn’t much that can be done.
He grabbed my struggling face and tilted it up, “My my aren’t you just the vicious one?” Their was a smirk I noted in his tone as he shoved me to the wall.
“Just calm down will yah?”
“Let-me-go,” I shrieked.
There was irritation in his face from my useless efforts and stubborn resistance. His grip tightened and he leaned closer to me, his nose barely an inch away from mine. I recoiled and yet there was no place to retreat - nowhere to run away from his horrible menacing eyes.
“Kiss me.” He demanded.
“No!” I cried again, but his strength was like steel and it forced me to do so anyway. “Chase!” cried the blond –haired guy, “I found her!” But Chase didn’t listen. He grabbed my face, keeping it still as he leaned in and…kissed me. His lips were strikingly cold and smooth like marble. Then I felt something, my eyes widened and I pushed with all my reaming strength. Chase pulled back slightly, his lips only inches away from mine, and smiled. I saw them just then, fangs prodding from his gums. Long, white fangs sharp as a knife and very able to pierce through human flesh.
“You’re a-a vampire!”
“A very thirsty vampire,” he corrected.




IM srry its so long!! But ummm i still have a ton more.....just in case you want to read more of the story
Thx!!

Im srry tht i may sound whiney (sp?)

But is my writing so bad that its scared every1 off??

No, this forum just isn't very active. Besides, if I think it's bad, I'm the kind of person to let you know. I'm going to read it now.

Here comes the horror-filled critique.

It could do with some slower pacing. Some of it went too fast. E.G, " I just can’t wait to get home and jump onto my bed, of course Cedric will probably be there but really its all just more comfortable with him around."

That could have easily been three or four sentences. As it is, it's a bit awkward. There are a few other places like that.

Aside from the fast pacing, and a few mechanical errors ("defiantly" should be "definitely" I believe) it was good. The revelation of the man harrassing her to be a vampire at the end of that chunk was done pretty well.

Lol..yah i guess i kinda figured tht out.. its just tht sometimz i get frustrated...not very patient am i? The truth and nothing but the truth.....

Yah i kinda guess bout the slower pacing...sometimes im just trying to fit to many things into one sentance...jammpacking it but really i have no idea wht to do bout that.


Akward...hmm yah i guess

P.s i have really bad spelling issues that im trying to covercome ....Key word trying ^^

Thx fer the advice... :)

that was so good ur pretty talented!
i hope cedric saves her that would be cool

I like to write stories.

I write them all the time.
I consider myself to be pretty good.

But most of my good junk is on my flash drive and I lost it when I moved.

Thx missmack123

if ur interested then yah he did :) ofcourse



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“Chase!” The blond guy was beside us, looking outraged.
“What?”
“I found her, so I should be able to keep her,”
Chase’s lips curled up into a snarl, “I get her!” he growled, the sound vibrating within me. They stared long and hard at each other but in the end Chase won.
“Fine,” sighed the blonde, giving up on a victim that wasn’t worth it.
“Thought so.” Chase turned his attention to me as the blonde sulked, “Don’t mind Peter. He’s just envious.”
Finding my voice I managed to whisper in a horse voice, “And why would he be envious?”
“Because I get the pretty one,” he whispered into my ear. His breath was cold, just like his icy touch.
“But I-I’m not pretty,”
“Sure you are, you’re the most edible thing that I’ve seen all day and I bet your blood tastes sweeter too.” His head was bent, with his lips brushing against my ear and his hands still pressing me against the brick wall almost crushing me. A forceful kiss on the jaw – with a hint of that cold breath – and then more relaxed, yet eager kisses trailing down my neck until they reached a spot were they stopped, hovering above my trembling skin.
Is this really happening? I was confused and dazzled as his voice drifted into my head, “I could kill you so easily. Simply give over to my senses and fulfill that craving of bloodlust that pounds within. But...but that would be such a waste of a youthful girl. Why not take advantage? Keep her, let her serve me and extinguish that growing loneliness.”
“Then it’s decided,” he said brushing back loose strands of hair. “You shall become mine.”
His mouth wide open, his fangs ready to pierce me.
“Holly!” My eyes flew open from their relaxed, calm position to alert. And there was Cedric, standing there in his dark beauty with glowering olive green eyes and his hands clenched into fists by his side – looking more like a vengeful Greek god than imaginable
“Cedric!” I smiled in pleasure, relief and comfort flooding me with his presence. Even if I wasn’t out of Chase’s inescapable grip I felt safe as I could ever be.
“Back off!” yelled Chase.
“Holly,” Cedric said in annoyance, “You really do now how to attract a lot of disaster your way. Really, ever since you’ve moved here anything with trouble written on it has indefinitely crossed your path.”

I'd like to read more of that! It's pretty good.

ThankZZ !!
And ofcourse I have some more if you're still interested, but it gets kinda weird from here....
Thanks again! Here you go....




“You might as well know pure-blood that I am not under the insane comsumption that you have any power over me. We all kill to survive and I wont hesitate to kill you no matter what title you go by.”
Cedric growled at Chase, “Have some respect bastard. I could make you tremble at my feet if I wished to do so.”
Their conversation sent shivers down my spine as I gulped and kept myself from screaming in disgust. Cedric seemed to notice my discomfort and steered the conversation away from the current topic.
“Look, just give me the girl and no one will get hurt.”
“Keep dreaming,” Chase replied, still clutching me tight. I really did want Cedric to save me but I didn’t want Chase to come to harm, not matter if he was determined to turn me into his slave. For some reason I didn’t want harm to come to him, maybe because he had given me a choice. Both of them may have dead ends but they were choices all the same and I couldn’t ignore that.
“Cedric, can’t we just leave. Please?” I begged hoping to walk away peacefully although I know that the chances of that were pretty slim.
Chase peered down at me. His brown hair flopped in the breeze with a look of questioning in his topaz eyes, “You want to go with him?”
Looking right at him I replied, “Yes.”
He clenched his teeth, “Well too bad, because you aren’t going anywhere!”
Cedric took a step forward and I raced through the thoughts in my head. Chase was just getting himself into trouble and there wasn’t much I could do for him. I made a reckless decision and tried to make a run for it. Chase had a tight grip on my wrist yet I struggled with him all the same.
“Let go!” I screamed but that only pushed Cedric to come to my rescue. He was beside me in a flash with his lips curled into a snarl.
“You filthy piece of garbage, let her go before I have to do it the hard way!” Cedric yelled twisting Chase’s arm so that he let go of me.
“Ouch!” Chase yelped and I scuttled away from the vampire scene. Down the sidewalk I lurched and around the corner.
“Got you,” uttered a voice from behind me. Something hit my head. A pain exploded throughout me as my vision started to fade. I fell to the floor and the world tilted before me.
“Help….me.” I whimpered before everything dimmed away into darkness.

big on cliffhangers aren't you! well I'm a reader and I don't appreciate them much myself, and I'm still VERY interested. so if you please continue posting. It's great.

Haha! I never noticed that I stopped on cliffhangers.... xD
I myself dont like cliffhangers very much and here I am using them!

LOL, anyways here's the next part.....
Im glad your interested ^^
[ Uh, I dont like the next part very much ;p ]




I stirred to find Hazel leaning over me. She was bent over me with her hazel eyes wide open in dismay and her face paler than usual. The night stars winking behind her.
“Oh god! I thought you were never going to wake up!”
I pushed myself up on my elbows into a sitting position. There was a faint throbbing in my head. Rubbing my temples I squinted at Hazel.
“Wahhh happen?” My words sounded slurred. Gulping I tried again, “What happened?”
Hazel shrugged, “I was on my way home after working my shift at the café when I heard moans. So I came over to figure out what was happening and I saw you on the ground and a man standing over you.”
“What did you do?”
“I threatened to call 911.”
“And he fell for it?”
“Well…not really. He actually started advancing towards me.”
“And then?”
“He just left.”
“He left?”
“Yupe.”
I couldn’t believe my ears but then again he was a vampire so there was no reason behind a lot of things that he did. Noticing the moon behind her I asked, “What TIME is it?”
“Ohm...” Hazel looked down at her wrist watch, “It’s around 7:30.”
“Are you for real?!” I jumped up but Hazel pushed me back down. Her being stronger won over my weak body.
“Lay down for a bit! You’re still weak at the knees!”
I tried to protest but Hazel wouldn’t bug. Just like the stubborn friend that she was and I loved it. Her concern over me forced a smile on my twitching lips. Just about no one I had ever known showed me much concern. My father was always too busy with his affairs and mom wasn’t an affectionate person over all. It felt nice. A warmth that filled me to the bone and comforted my aching muscles.
“I’ll call and get us a ride, Kay?”
“Sure.”
Hazel pulled out her cell phone, a brand new silver phone. She punched in a couple of numbers with a skilled hand and brought the cell phone to her ear. Seconds ticked by but apparently no one picked up. Sighing she tried another number and this time someone picked up.
“Hello? Hey Rad! Umm…I’m kinda stuck in a sticky situation here and I was wondering if you could give me a ride.” She paused but when she spoke again she was yelling onto the phone, “NO! Now can you give me a ride or not?? Well, bye then!”
Hazel turned to me as she snapped her cell phone shut, “Sometimes Rad gets on my nerve! Do you know what he asked me? He asked me if I was drunk! Do I sound drunk to you? Never mind, don’t answer that!”
“How about pulling me up while we’re waiting?” I suggested.
“Oh! Right…” Hazel offered a hand and I took it, thankfully Hazel was strong enough to haul me up. My butt felt flattened and my legs had fallen asleep. Gazing down I found a layer of dirt on my jeans.
“Blah!” I cried in my current mishap state, “I probably look hideous right now!” Brushing the dirt off my now soiled jeans I decided to call home and let mom know that I was fine.
“Hey Hazel, can I use your phone?”
“Knock you self out,” she answered, tossing me her phone. I dialed my home number preparing myself from all the hollering I was sure to receive.
RING
RING
Mom was bound to be stuck in a pile of junk making her way to the phone right now.
RING
RING
Wow, that’s must be a whole lot of stuff she making her way through.
RING
Maybe she’s in the bathroom.
RING
Just one more ring…
RING
I slowly closed the phone, moving in slow motion as I handed it back to Hazel. She looked at me perplexed but she didn’t ask what happened, just another reason that I loved her so much, she waited for me to say something instead of pressuring me.
Her hazel eyes scanned the street, looking out for her brother Radley’s black Cadillac, “Here he comes.” She declared as his car pulled up beside us. Radley stepped out. His hair was naturally blonde but he had dyed it so that now it was a dark shade of blonde with black strands here and there. But it was his eyes that I loved the most, icy kind of blue that reminded you of the soothing ocean water. Today he was wearing a ring in one of his ears, worn out jeans and a hoodie. Hazel and her brother were both rebelling against their nauseating, rich parents by going punk. It wasn’t working though, their parents held them tight by their strings. Always dressing them up with puffy dresses and boring suits with itchy collars. Anna on the other hand, their 7 year old sister was going according to plan. She wore all the clothes that pleased their parents, and did exactly what they told her to. She even had friends with the same family history behind them.
“Howz it going Rad?”
Rad was like my older brother…he reminded me so much of Perry. That same loose and carefree attitude with the world but with concern for the ones that they loved. Just like Perry…
“So what happened with you?” he asked in response, eyeing my soiled jeans.
“Oh...ohm,” I didn’t quite know what to say. Oh yah I was just attacked by vampires, that’s all!
Hazel came to my rescue, “She was just really tired, and wasn’t looking where she was going…and you know Holly! She tripped halfway there, said she couldn’t go on.”
“Is THAT it?” Rad asked, one of his eyebrows raised, looking at me questioningly.
“Yes.”




This one's a long one ^^